oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
