i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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