I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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