i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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