The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
