Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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