i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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