After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
