I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
