I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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