Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
