They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
