Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
