id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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