I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
