Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
