Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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