ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
