Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
me + whiskey = a bad person
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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