even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
