yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
