No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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