you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
