So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
