Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
