his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
