Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i think i have two assholes
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
