just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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