Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
