"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Randomize
