i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
