i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
