Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
