Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
