just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
