new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
two words...techno handjob
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
