Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
