I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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