Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
