Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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