is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
