There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
