No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
