Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize