I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
