I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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