Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
