I can tuck mytits in my pants
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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