Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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