OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
