I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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