Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
