And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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