i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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