He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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