Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
