I need help removing her.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
