Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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