hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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