I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize