How's work?
Spinning.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
