i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
