THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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