redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
This can only be settled by a dance off.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
