Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
