You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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