something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
